Dear "Guy With His Socks Pulled Almost to His Knees"...

I've seen you so many, many times around campus. When I see you, it makes me wonder...Are your legs cold? I can't imagine a pair of jean shorts with tall white socks is very warm. I would suggest a pair of regular, full length jeans. Or leg warmers. That would be more acceptable than your absurd socks.

I can just tell you are a nerd. Or perhaps a geek. So am I. I understand. However, you make me ashamed to call myself one. (I suppose I should be, regardless of my kind's apparel...) Men: if you wish to wear socks that high, make sure they're awesomesauce enough to display in such a way. Do they have Pokemon dotting the fabric? Are they striped, argyle, spotted, whathaveyou? No? Are they plain white, maybe even with a single colored stripe on the top? Yes? Then please, do me a favor and do not wear them with a pair of shorts. Please.

This is absurd looking, yes? Are you hiding something in there? Maybe if you had a stash of emergency cash in there, I could understand. A pack of gum. DRUGS. But no. The only thing in those socks are your hairy legs.

Do you remember high school? Homecoming week, I believe. Nearly every year during Homecoming week, there would be theme days, in which the entire school would be expected to don an outfit that suited said themes. Eh, most didn't care. Hula Day. Really? Let me grab the grass skirt I just happened to have laying around the house. And don't forget your eye patch for Pirate Day. (Well, perhaps I wouldn't mind dressing like a pirate. Perhaps.)

I digress.

Nerd Day. That is the day I meant to address. Nerd Day: a day in which the jocks and whores and artists and band geeks (different than the average nerd, of course) and metal-heads and Free Thinkers and whatever clique you can think of would dress the part of a nerd. Suspenders. Thick glasses, most likely with tape in the middle. (Show me a modern nerd with that.) Bow tie. Khakis. Pocket protectors, for those humiliating ink leaks! And socks. Socks pulled up to the knee. Long, white socks.

It is one of the SHINING BEACONS of being a nerd.

You are not rocking those socks. Put some Golden Snitches on those socks, if you wish to. Those would be awesomesauce, and even gain you some admiring nods or looks from your fellow nerds.

But those plain white socks underneath jean shorts are garnering you nothing but a roll of the eyes and a mental note:

What a nerd.

-Observer