Dear "Guy Who Leaves His Food on the Desk"...

This is the unfortunate next occupant of the desk you just vacated. I do not know who you are, what you look like, your name, anything. However, I do know your food tastes. After all, you did just leave an empty bag of chips and a semi empty cup of coffee on 'my' desk.

Why did you just leave it there? Were you in such a rush you did not have time to grab your disgustingly greasy food and throw it out in the bin on your way out of class? Well, that wouldn't make sense, as you were able to grab your bag, notes, and book. Then again...when I think about it, you are probably one of those guys who carry nothing but a beat-up notebook to class. Once in class, you realize that you do not have a writing utensil to take notes with. You then loudly ask for one from your buddy across the room. He steals one from the girl beside him and then throws it to you. You then sit through class drawing on the desk. A dick, probably.

Ah, but the food, of course. You opened the -of course- loud chip bag right when the professor is stating the 'all important piece of information you need for the test on Thursday' and proceed to eat the Suddenly Crispiest Chips of All Time. Oh look, there go the crumbs I will unfortunately find next hour cascading from your mouth. Lovely.

Don't forget to take a sip of your overpriced Java Latte Frappe Mocha FrouFrou Espresso you had to get for class. Your body can't run on the leftover Keystone you ingested last night. But no whipped creme, of course. Only pussies drink it with whipped creme.

Shit, class is over. Take your empty notebook with you, stick the stolen pencil behind your pierced ear, and get the fuck out of here. I'm sure as you leave, you pass me. I take no notice. There's so many of you, you just blend in with the crowd. I make my way into the class, and goddammitwhatthefuckisthisshit.

What do you expect me to do with this stuff? Throw it away like you should have? No chance, class is starting, and there are too many late people walking in. I guess I'll just throw it on the ledge of the window you were no doubt gazing out of for now.

Ah, it's nice and breezy here! Too bad the curtains block the wind...oh...

Well, there goes the rest of your Cafe Latte Mochachino Espresso with caramel.

I guess I'll leave it for the janitor.

-Observer